Okay, there aren’t that many of you….
I can’t explain it. Seriously…I’m baffled.
For some reason I seem to have gathered a rather significant amount of subscribers. I mean, I don’t even know this many people. Which naturally leads to one conclusion…
At least one third of you are The Swordfish. The little 23 year old Russian fuck nut responsible for one third of all the spam email in the world.
So to that third, I have this to say: No, I don’t want a fake Rolex, I am not falling for your “make a billion dollars while on the toilet” schemes, I don’t have a terrible problem with my impending hair loss, and contrary to what anyone may have said there is absolutely nothing wrong with the size or functionality of my wiener. Now, kindly fuck off out of this world, because you have contributed nothing of value or interest to it. You would greatly increase your worth to the species by becoming fertilizer. Please do.
But first, tell me who was talking about my wiener. I’m not kidding. I need to set that record straight.
To the rest of you…what is wrong with you? Don’t you recognize a disturbed mind when you see one? I’ll give a hint…it’s about 6’1″ tall, dark hair, fabulous physique and has a website devoted to the promotion of the stuff he rarely does. Just by subscribing to this site you are putting enough pressure on him to prompt an even longer nap than the one he had planned!
He does, however, truly appreciate your interest and hopes to someday earn it. Provided you have your expectations set sufficiently low.
Oh, and one last thing for The Swordfish…I know times are rough for you, and if you need help with legal fees, I know a Nigerian prince who would be pleased to help you out. I’ll give him your e-mail address. Ya fucktard.