Okay folks, if you feel the need for a “straight pride parade”…if you truly believe that straight America is in danger and warrants some grand gesture of solidarity to show the world that you matter…then go for it.

Get some of your best, straightest friends together, throw on some heterosexual music, and have yourself a little march. Go around the block a couple of times. Hell, get some crepe paper, decorate your car, and drive it around the block really slow. Wave at people.

Just don’t be pissed off when people mistake it for an Idiot Pride Parade and point at you.